Eagerly and somewhat anxiously my husband and I are expecting the birth of a new baby soon. The due date is in a day and as excited as we are, frustration has set in. For the past five days we have been involved in what I have found the term to be, prodromal labor. It has been emotionally taxing, trying to endure on and off early labor. We even headed to the hospital one of those days. At one point we were sure, but as we approached the hospital all certainty ebbed away. Another disappointing verdict proved that we would just have to wait- even longer.
Waiting.
It is for sure, one of the things that all of us struggle with from time to time. As soon as as we think we have the waiting thing under our belt we are faced with a situation that implores us to go beyond our own ability to wait, and once again rely on the grace of God to carry us past our own strength to wait.
It is in these periods of waiting however, that we recognize our ability to rely on God's strength. His Word comes to life - His strength really is made perfect in our weakness.
This morning I read in the book of Lamentations 3:35, "The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh him."
So waiting is not just standing still, but it is a work of seeking that should be done in conjunction with it. I found myself in the last 5 days,so consumed with counting and timing contractions, and labeling the intensity of labor contractions, that I was neglecting the one who had control over the very situation.
Oh I was praying, but they were me focused. I was reading, but it too was me focused, dutiful rather than genuine.
It was 3 days into it, that I decided I had to take a mental labor vacation and return my focus back to God. God, I told myself, has a purpose for even this. Trials work patience, patience, experience, and experience, hope- according to Romans 5:3-4. During this ordeal, it has also been embarrassing. I find myself constantly remarking to my observers that , this is something new for me. After 4 children I would think I would know what labor is and is not. It is causing waver in my self confidence. Everything I thought I knew, is being pulled by the thread.
Again the Lord reminds me , in James 1:3, that the trying of my faith works patience.
Patience, like I said is one of those things, that we can never have enough of. I am still battling frustration and lack of faith in my instincts, but my consolation is in knowing that God is faithful. His intention is for us to have a closer walk with him. In this I will find myself closer to the Lord than if I had not experienced this. Not to mention that the experience this is giving me, enables me to help another mother in the future, and it builds my faith when I am again- Waiting!
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